


searched for something lost

by kanjogirl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Pining, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-01 16:38:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15147353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanjogirl/pseuds/kanjogirl
Summary: Allura looks like she's searching for something she's lost long ago.  It'll take some time but he thinks he knows what that something had been.Canon scenes with Lance's pov; mostly Allurance moments & deleted scenes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like every ship needs the canon-compliant-event-fic. So here's my Allurance take on it.

The first time he sees her, he’s almost sure he can hear background music.

 

Or---something close, at least.

 

He catches her from the cryopod and he vaguely remembers his face flushing at how close hers is. She’s beautiful, eyes like starlight and draped right over him.  He’s pretty sure whatever forces of nature that drove him into a robot lion and got him on this alien planet are looking out for his best interest. This is honestly the greatest thing that’s happened since this craziness began.  Lance thinks close to a hundred one liners for this moment. Cheesy ones. Definitely cheesy lines. 

 

“ _ Hello _ .”

 

“Who are you?  Where am I?”

 

This is where the line comes in and he’s rather happy to use this one: “I’m Lance.  And you’re right here in my arms.”

 

“Your ears…” Starlight eyes narrow, inspecting him.  

 

“Yeah…?”  Suddenly, he’s feeling self-conscious, trying to follow her line of sight before locking back onto her gaze.  It doesn’t help that she’s still leaning against him. 

 

She’s frowning then, looking rather disgusted and pulls away from him only slightly.  “They’re  _ hideous _ .  What’s wrong with them?”

 

He can’t believe this---is he  _ really  _ going to have to defend himself over his ears?  Offended, he growls and says indignantly, “Nothing’s wrong with them!  They heard exactly what you said about them!”

 

Then she’s taking said ear in her hand, giving him a yank until he’s in a lock and on his knees.  If he screamed, so what? This is an alien planet with a pretty alien girl, using some alien combat mode he’s never encountered before.  He has a right to scream a bit. 

 

“Who are you?  Where is King Alfor?  What are you doing in my castle?” she demands of him.  

 

What he manages to say is, “A giant blue lion brought us here!  That’s all we know!”

 

Faintly, he wonders why the hell no one has stepped in to aid him.  Traitors. Keith and Pidge are probably enjoying it. She seems confused and finally releases him.  One glance at the group and it seems like they’re all as shocked as he is, though he’s coming down from it and has a bit of a grudge for how sore his ear is right now.  Hunk’s literally hiding behind Shiro and Pidge looks ready to run, while Keith is simply eyeing her. Wow. What a great team…

 

He stands up to glare at her but she’s not noticing at all.  She looks a bit lost, liking she’s looking for something and she can’t find it.  

 

“How long has it been?”

 

“We don’t know what you’re talking about,” thank whatever entity that is watching over them for Shiro the Adult, “Maybe we can help.”

 

“I am Princess Allura of Planet Altea.”

 

(He’ll never forget that moment, actually.)

 

She’s rushing over to the console that had lit up earlier, placing her hands on it.  It begins to glow with new life and she’s looking at a holographic screen. Pidge seems absolutely enamoured by it and he just continues eyeing her, still rubbing his ear.  

 

Suddenly there’s a new guy with a huge mustache coming at him.  He dodges the attack easily. They bicker for a good minute before the princess is talking again.  Explains what’s happened, where she had been and so on.

 

And...holy crow, things sound pretty messed up.  Intergalactic space war? 10,000 years of violence?  A crazy alien warlord? He’s blinking, processing the information.  He was actually pretty cool with the blue robotic lion but this is a bit too much.  

 

There’s a threat blaring through the castle and apparently now they have to worry about those crazy aliens coming to attack them.  Lance is honestly not sure how to handle it but the princess has this look on her face, the kind he’s seen on the commanders at the base.  

 

“Let them come,” she says and evidently that’s all it takes.  They go where she points them to. 

  
  


\---

  
  


She’s explaining the Lions to them.  She’s already gone over the Black and Green Lions and gets to his absolute favorite.  “The Blue Lion---”

 

“Wait, hold up, lemme guess---takes the most handsome slash best pilot of the bunch?” and flashes her a charming smile.  He can  _ feel _ the looks everyone gives him and they certainly mirror the dull glance she sends his way.

 

“...The  _ Yellow  _ Lion is caring and kind,” she starts again, skipping right over the Blue Lion’s description altogether.

 

He actually never finds out what the Blue Lion is supposed to represent.

  
  


\---

  
  


Later, he tries again.  

 

See, Lance has the flirting thing down.  Put yourself out there, don’t expect reciprocation and you don’t have to be disappointed.  It’s what he’s done forever---a habit of sorts. Because he’s the heartbreaker, the lover boy back home.  

 

And Allura is clearly the most beautiful girl in the galaxy, so why not?

 

“Wait---this castle has a partial barrier we can activate!” she says amist Hunk’s panic attack.  

 

“ _ Girl _ , you’ve already activated  _ my  _ par---”

 

“ _ Lance _ ,” Shiro warns, rather loudly, if Lance has anything to say about that.  

 

Coran goes on about this particle barrier and Lance brings up a great idea that just formed in his head: wormhole out and live to fight another day!  Hunk wholeheartedly agrees with him, which is why he’s his best friend and he slides right on over to Allura. 

 

“Then it’s settled.  Allura, you ride with me.  One of you take the old guy.”

 

That launches all Earthlings into a full debate on whether to flee or stay.  Keith so obviously wants to fight and Lance isn’t about to get killed because this dude wants to be in his own action film.  And Pidge wants to stay because  _ it’s the right thing to do _ .  Hunk is reasoning his snake idea could work.  Shiro raises his voice again at them and turns the decision to Allura, who looks lost again.  

 

(A few months into knowing her, Lance will come to realize she hides that expression behind screens, diplomatic words and a wave of her hand.  She always looks like she’s searching for something she’s lost. It’ll take awhile but Lance figures out what that something had been.)

 

After some time, she comes back from talking to her artificial-intelligence-father (his world is getting weirder and weirder) to tell them they’re staying to fight.  He’s not sure what he expected but he feels like he’ll go where she tells them to. Shiro seems to have no problem fighting and helping out, so he supposes he’ll follow his lead.  

 

“ _ We _ are the universe’s only hope.”

 

He feels like some of that isn’t true.  Or it should specified somehow. 

 

(Later, he does specify.)

  
  


\---

  
  


They’re having some huge party, celebrating the first alliance Voltron has made with the inhabitants of Arus when the weird space juice seems to be affecting him more than he’d like to admit.  So he sulks off and Coran finds him. 

 

They talk about Earth and he mentions home.  Not just mentions; openly discusses it. He’s not afraid to say how homesick he is.  He wants to go back and it’s looking like he won’t for awhile. 

 

After some time, he realizes he’s not alone.  While he, Pidge, Shiro, Hunk and Keith still have a planet to return to, Allura and Coran don’t have one at all.  It hits Allura harder, he realizes. She’ll forever be homesick and that’s gotta sting. 

  
  


\---

  
  


After recovering from a rather huge explosion, he’s stumbling out of the pod.  They’re having some sort of clock party or something so he asks. Hunk is engulfing him in his infamous bear hugs and Allura’s hand falls on his back with a comforting pat.  He thinks she might have hesitated for a moment because her hand seemed to hover. For good reason because as soon as she speaks, he’s got a great comeback.

 

“We can tell you all about it while we get you something to eat.  Are you able to walk?”

 

A slow smirk appears on his face.  “Talking? Eating? Are you asking me out on a date?”

 

The reaction is simultaneous and everyone has something to say about it.

  
  


\---

  
  


Allura goes with them to the shielded Galra base.  When things are looking like a bust, Allura says she’s going to get the intel they need by sneaking aboard.  Almost instantly, he comes out with a, “What? No way!” Because she can’t be going in there by herself... _ as _ herself. 

 

Shiro fights her on it, says she can’t go alone and he just sorta lets that slide.  Honestly, if they’re all together, it seems like Shiro’s Space Dad protocol kicks into high gear and he’s almost always right beside Allura.  He’s nearly shocked Coran hasn’t said anything about it yet. 

 

And, why does that bother him?  

  
  


\---

  
  


While Shiro and Allura are off on their spy mission, he, Hunk and Pidge hang back.  The science besties are fiddling with the Galra robot and Lance is leaning back, left bored and tossing robot parts up in the air.  Keith has gone off to do lone wolf stuff and he’s starting wish he had gone with. 

 

He begins thinking about their situation, comparing it to home.  He doesn’t want to think about his family or anything remotely close to Cuba, so he thinks about the Garrison.  There had been a girl there: dark skin, hair tied up in a high ponytail and British accent. She challenged him on everything, rebuffed every attempt at romance Lance had ever pulled.  Jenny. If he didn’t know any better, Lance would say she loved pointing out every flaw he had ever made. She came from a family of wealth, held herself with a composure meant for royalty.  And Lance flirted with her every chance he got. And---

 

Yikes.  

 

“Quick question---” he cuts into whatever conversation Hunk and Pidge were having, “does Allura talk about me when I’m not in the room?”

 

“Oh, yeah, all the time,” Hunk suspiciously jumped on that rather quickly but Lance is grasping at straws here.

 

“Really?” he’s sitting up now and he’s probably grinning a bit too much.  

 

“Yeah, yeah.  She’s all like, ‘Oh, Lance, he’s so fine.  I’m all atwitter.’ Then she turns red and makes me swear not to tell anyone.”  

 

Ignoring the terrible mocking accent, Lance is definitely grinning now.  “I knew it!”

 

Then he’s promptly backhanded by a Galra robot and yelps.  

 

“Whoops,” Pidge monotones while he’s sure Hunk is shaking his head.  

  
  


\---

  
  


Shiro’s the only one who comes back from the escape pod.  At first, he thinks maybe she was behind Shiro and he’s just going crazy.  Because there’s no way Shiro would leave anyone behind, not him. Lance is looking around Keith, peering over Shiro’s shoulder.  

 

Keith is asking before Lance can.  “Where’s Allura?”

 

Shiro is way too quiet and dread seeps in like a chill.  He looks like he’s been defeated, taking a loss because there’s no other option.  He really doesn’t like how Shiro wears surrender. 

 

“Shiro?”

 

“She sacrificed herself to save me.”

 

Pidge is saying something, sounding pissed off.  Then Hunk and Keith. Shiro’s talking about going to the base and he faintly processes the conversation.  All he knows for sure is that Allura’s in the belly of the beast and---

 

\---well, she’s not with them.

  
  


\---

  
  


Without Allura, things are obviously different.  The dynamics are thrown off. Shiro knows battle plans and tactics but Allura always held the big picture.  It’s becoming quite clear that she is needed for this sort of operation. It’s too bad she’s basically the mission.  

 

The command post on the bridge is bare, like a reminder.  Coran is  _ furious _ with Shiro.  The rest of them don’t bother to pick a side, since they’re going to get her anyway.  So no big deal there. Lance says they go in, fly in and out and call it a day. It’s simple---they’ve done it before.  But the rest of the team doesn’t see it that way. Hunk has reservations about the fleet, says they need a better plan. 

 

Keith says something that has Lance almost stunned: that they shouldn’t go at all.  Hunk sounds just as shocked as he is when he asks if he’d do the same for the rest of them.  He doesn’t like how that’s worded, honestly. Because Allura should mean something to all of them, right?  She’s the reason Voltron exists, she brought them together, gave them their Lions---for what? 

 

“I’m not saying I like it either but I’m thinking like a paladin.”

 

That sets Lance off.  “No, you’re thinking about  _ yourself  _ because you’re too scared to do what’s right!”

 

Pidge is quick to try to alleviate the situation.  But it’s already been decided: they’re getting Allura.  So Lance ignores the twinge in his stomach. The fact that one of his teammates would be willing to let go of another.  He shouldn’t be surprised that Shiro didn’t say anything to Keith about it on the spot because with all his talk about teamwork and comradery, he’d think he’d be the first to say something.  But Shiro and Keith have that brotherly dynamic and maybe he’s just upset Allura’s gone, like Pidge said.

 

(He  _ knows _ Keith wants to do the right thing.  He saw it when he was ready to fight the Galra head on the first time they landed on Arus.  He’s just upset. And he doesn’t apologize for lashing out because, honestly? It was still a cold thing to say.)

  
  


\---

  
  


Hunk ends up rescuing Allura.  And then Allura ends up rescuing Shiro, along with the rest of them when they wormhole the hell out.  

 

He thinks about how dependent they are on Allura.  She manages to get them out in the nick of time and it seems effortless for her.  He thanks the entity watching over them for a space princess with magical abilities because they’d be so screwed otherwise. 

  
  


\---

  
  


It’s when they come across some secret base for the Blades of Marmora (apparently there’s a secret organization, and, yeah, okay, he can get behind that), Lance tries once more to flirt.  Sort of. 

  
  


Hunk and Pidge want to head for this space pocket dimension with Keith, Shiro and the Galra spy, Ulaz.  Lance seizes the opportunity.

 

“You guys go ahead.  I’ll hang back and protect the princess,” he states, flashing one of his grins.  

 

She rolls her eyes and sighs out.  It’s the reaction he expected, so he’s not bummed by being rebuffed.  See, he’s all right as long as it’s not actual pining. And Lance wouldn’t be caught dead pining; his reputation would be at stake and all.

  
  


\---

  
  


It’s a constant game of cat and mouse when Zarkon shows up everywhere they go.  Pidge tries to figure out how the hell Zarkon keeps finding them. Allura comes to one conclusion: it’s her.  

 

And Lance is taking another chance.  “I would  _ absolutely  _ travel the galaxy to find you.”

 

Before Allura can react negatively to that one, Keith interjects and says it’s him.  

 

Then things just get weird after that.  Because then theories are being thrown about and Shiro has to tell them they all need rest.  It’s when they all come back to the bridge, Allura’s so obviously missing. Keith could be anywhere, Lance is not really sure what the lone wolf does in his spare time.  Allura’s almost always on the bridge, though. 

 

Coran says one of the pods left while they were sleeping and that kinda gives Lance a whole new set of theories.  And a weird feeling in his chest. 

 

“Wait a minute.  Keith and Allura?  In the middle of the night?”  Lance’s eyes dart from person to person.  Mostly Hunk because he’s his best friend and would surely counter his wild thoughts with something reasonable.  “You don’t think they’re sitting in a tree?”

 

“Contact that pod,” Shiro says, completely ignoring Lance.

 

“Yes!  Contact that pod!” he all but yells.

  
  


\---

  
  


They have to save a whole planet before Keith and Allura decide to come back.  Taujeer proves to be a rather difficult situation and he’s actually relieved to hear Keith over the comms.  

 

Lance decides to ask the most important question of all, of course: “Is the Princess with you?”

 

“Yes,” he hears Keith say over the link.  He swears he hears a grin in there somewhere.  Whether it’s because he’s ready to tease Lance or he’s weirdly happy about something, Lance isn’t going to question it

 

“Like…’ _ with you _ ’ with you or…?”

 

“Uh, Keith?  A little help here,” Hunk cuts in, probably saving Lance serious embarrassment.

 

Allura gets to ride with them as they form Voltron.  They save the refugees and defeat a whole Galra battleship in the process.  After some apologies, the revelation about the Lions connecting with paladins over long distances, Lance asks her how she liked getting to be with them.  

 

She grins and it reaches her eyes.  Like starlight. She tells him how she would have loved to be a paladin because it’s exhilarating.  He offers, rather jokingly, that she should ride with him next time, in Blue. She surprises him, saying she’d actually be fine with that.  He’s not sure how to respond.

  
  


\---

  
  


So maybe he’s pining.  Just a little. It’s not a real big deal because it’s all lighthearted and it’s not like Allura would take it seriously.  So as long as he doesn’t consider it as a real possibility, he’s fine. 

 

Just fine.

  
  


\---

  
  


There’s talk of a space mall.   _ Finally _ , somewhere Lance can be in his element.  His natural habitat are social places like this.  Coran needs something from it and Lance slides right over to Allura.

 

“While Coran is shopping for his lenses, I’ll take you shopping for something sparkly.”

 

He expects her to roll her eyes, sigh or just give him a dull look.  But she actually seems excited for it and he goes with it. Quite easily, actually, because she truly looks ready to go with them.  Coran shuts it down, jumping right between them and Allura’s looking at Lance with serious disappointment, like she’s waiting for  _ him _ to argue with Coran, who is obviously stuck in Dad Mode.  

 

Well.  He did try.

 

He thinks she would have enjoyed it.  

  
  


\---

  
  


Keith and Shiro are literally in the space between two black holes.  They can’t go down there until there’s another opening and that’s coming up quick.  The alarm for the Red Lion is blipping on Allura’s holoscreen and she’s looking straight ahead.  

 

Lance is wide-eyed and there’s a creeping fear of  _ why _ the Red Lion would be attacking the base.  Hunk is voicing what they’re all thinking. Almost automatically, Lance glances to the princess.  “Allura?”

 

Because Allura usually has the answers.  Usually knows what to do. She brought them all together, knew which Lions would bond with who, understands risks and rewards the universe offers.  So she’d know this simple thing, right?

 

She doesn’t answer them.  Instead, “Everyone, stay focused.”

 

There’s a certain strain in her tone.  He’s reminded of the first time he heard it.   _ Let them come _ .  She had been a princess, readying herself for war.  Lance now sees she’s ready to dive between two black holes to grab her paladins.

 

With more concern than he should have, Lance is still staring at her when Coran starts the countdown.  She’s ready to charge, get Shiro and Keith and probably rain hellfire down on the base without a second thought.  She had reservations about this whole thing to begin with; anything associated with the Galra, she’ll have a wall thrown up in a tick.  But it’s obvious something’s happening to Keith and Lance wonders if Allura knows something else about the Lion’s connection than she’s letting on.  

 

“Princess, we’re coming back,” Shiro’s voice comes over the comms.  

 

He slumps in his seat with a heavy sigh while Hunk and Pidge are whooping and cheering.  Lance spies the way Allura’s shoulder’s relax just a bit. But other than that, he wouldn’t have been able to spot the difference.  

  
  


\---

  
  


This whole war seems to be coming to an end and Lance is more than happy to be a part of it.  They have their missions and he’s still waiting in the hanger as Pidge gathers the rest of the things needed for the trip.  Hunk and Keith already said their goodbyes and left. 

 

So Lance does that thing again.  Throws out a line, doesn’t expect much back.  In fact, kinda expects her to roundhouse kick him, honestly.  But he tries it anyway. 

 

“So, how about a kiss for good luck?”

 

Bold, because Shiro’s standing right besides him and could easily smack the back of his head for it.  But he’s already puckering his lips exaggeratedly and closing his eyes. He really shouldn’t be so shocked when he gets a kiss from a space mouse instead.  He’s wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as Pidge is laughing darkly and Shiro is telling the rest of them they’ll be back soon.

 

Easily one of the top betrayals he’s ever suffered.  Deserving, but still. 

  
  


\---

  
  


They may have bitten off more than they can chew this time.  

 

Zarkon manages to flip Allura’s attack back on the Castle.  All the paladins can do is watch when the beam is directed right at the place they’ve called home.  Lance feels numb, like they’re helpless to stop it from happening. 

 

Then they all hear Allura’s pained scream and see the explosion.  Lance crouches in his seat and shuts his eyes, as if the attack had been on Voltron instead.  And after Shiro shouts her name, there’s nothing. Just static and silence. 

 

A few beats later, Shiro’s talking quietly.  It’s in that voice he recognizes, whispers of determination and taking the loss.  Like when he lost Allura the first time (there shouldn’t have been a first time).  _ They’re _ Voltron,  _ they’re _ supposed to be the hope of the universe,  _ they’re  _ supposed to protect.  Allura was protecting them and paid for it.  

 

Lance just thinks numbly how they’ve lost the princess and tries his best to follow Shiro’s lead.  So when he asks if he’s ready, he tells him, “Let’s go down swingin’.”

 

Because there’s already been too many casualties.  He’s pretty sure they’re not gonna make it out of here.  So if they end up meeting the end, might as well take Zarkon down with them.

  
  


\---

  
  


Coran’s voice comes over the comms and relief floods him, which is welcome because this fight with Zarkon and his version of Voltron is looking grim.  They all seem resigned to dying here; the plan had been scrapped when, well, everyone in the Castle appeared to perish. Shiro asks if they all okay and that’s great news and all but apparently Allura left the Castle to take on the witch.  

 

He thinks about how nothing ever goes as planned for them.

  
  


\---

  
  


Shiro ends up being the one who is gone.  

 

He’s worried it’s going to stick.  And it leaves a lasting impression on the team.  Keith withdraws from everyone, which no one is surprised by, but Voltron is still needed.  Everyone turns to Lance to talk to him and he narrows his eyes at them. What? Did he sign up for being emotional support when he bonded with the Blue Lion?  

 

(Allura never did explain the qualities of the Blue Lion and he’s almost sure if she were to say it now, it would be along the lines of  _ overly confident _ or something like that.  Just because it’s now associated with Lance McClain.)

 

But Lance talking to Keith doesn’t help.  It’s Allura who nudges Keith to the Black Lion, which is interesting.  After everything, the team just kinda expects Lance to do it, given his track record.  But he feels something shift inside him, giving over power to a purpose beyond him. He’s not interesting in claiming leader anymore, no matter how much he wanted it.  

 

When Allura comes back from trying to bond with the Red Lion, he spies something familiar.  That look on her face---the one that says she’s lost something dear to her and she can’t find it.  No one says a word besides Coran. And after that, she swipes the expression away and the smile she gives is feigned.  No one says anything about that either. 

  
  


\---

  
  


Hunk, Pidge and Keith are in their Lions, taking heavy fire and Lance is stuck in the hanger, standing before Blue with a barrier in between them.  Blue’s refusing to respond to him, acting as if they’ve never bonded and there’s an odd feeling of loss creeping along his skin. 

 

If Blue doesn’t accept him, then he’s no longer a paladin.  

 

Allura finds him there.  He tells her his fear, quietly, as if saying it too loud makes it true. 

 

When they hear Red roar, he turns to her and he can’t believe it.  Despite himself, he’s sure Red’s calling for Allura. King Alfor was its paladin, so it seems fitting that his daughter would be too.  But Allura tells him otherwise and he’s beside himself about it. 

 

She lays a hand on his shoulder, explains his acceptance to Keith’s leadership proved to the Red Lion he’d be the right hand to Voltron.  

 

“Just like my father.”

 

The way she says it makes him think it was painful to admit.   _ She _ wants to be like her father.  The strong leader of Altea, holding the sword and protect the innocent.  Lance doesn’t know how to tell Allura that maybe her being different from her father isn’t the worst thing.  If she’s comparing her father to Lance then it’s probably best she’s not like the King. Allura holds so much power, brought them together and Lance---well, Lance is just lucky Blue chose him to begin with.  

 

He frowns because the implication means he’s not just the right hand on the bridge anymore.  He’ll be fighting as  _ Voltron’s  _ right hand.  That means something to Allura.  Means he’d be taking Keith’s place.  Her father’s place. As much as he’d doesn’t want to admit it, those are some big shoes to fill.  Keith was a natural as Red. Lance and Blue---it just seemed to click. 

 

Locking gazes with her, he’s acutely aware of her hand still on his shoulder and how expectant she looks.  “I won’t let him down.”

 

“Go.”

  
  


\---

  
  


After the battle, he hangs back to say goodbye to Blue because, as he’s finding out, he’s more sentimental than he thought.  Tells her what they want isn’t necessarily what they get. He’s never felt how true those words can be until now. 

 

Allura enters the hanger, clad in a pink uniform.  Lance sort of imagined her wearing blue, like the royal dress he first found her in or something neutral.  But she explains pink is for the fallen warriors; to honor them. Honor Shiro. Lance lets that hang in the air for a moment before responding.  He offers his bayard to her, which splashes startlement all over her features when she accepts it. 

 

“If I had to lose Blue to someone, I’m glad it was you.”

 

It’s surprising how much he means it.  Even more surprised when she averts her gaze, wistful smile on her lips.  There’s something like a pull in his chest, tugs at him and he’s faintly aware of his heart rhythm.  He’s not sure what it means that Blue’s accepted Allura and he wants to ask her what changed.

 

There’s another shift inside him, like a small fracture and he only notices it because Allura looks like she’s found that something she had lost.  And he had gotten the chance to play a role in that search. 

 

Coran’s voice over the comms give them a start and he forgets about that odd shift.  

  
  


\---

  
  


Keith as team leader turns out as much as anyone would have thought: fast, turbulent and no stopping.  As the official-as-hell right hand of Voltron, Lance gets the chance to add his input at every given moment.  So when they barely got a moment to take a breather and Keith has them tracking this new Galra leader (or whatever this dude is supposed to be---Zarkon’s son?), Lance notices he’s constantly having to ‘advise’ Keith more than usual.  

 

Piloting a Lion can be tricky.  As the first one of the bunch to know this, Lance realizes Allura’s having issues right off the bat.  It’s normal. He’s having issues too; Red is faster, more agile than Blue and it’s terrifying. And he’s wondering how the hell Keith has gone from Red to the Black Lion without many issues.  Three out of five paladins are new to this and he can feel the helpless frustration radiating through the comms from Pidge and Hunk. 

 

“Allura, you doin’ okay in Blue?” Lance asks because  _ no one else is _ .  

 

“I’m fine,” she snaps back though it sounds more like she’s convincing herself.

 

She’s not fine.  None of them are fine.  And this new and irritating Bad Guy is seriously annoying Lance.  It’s annoying Keith even more when the rest of his team can’t keep up.  Hunk is probably having a quiet panic attack about the situation while the princess can’t maneuver fast enough to dodge.  Lance quite literally yells at Keith that they have to go back for her. Allura, for some unknown reason, feels the need to apologize for it.  

 

“It’s okay,” he says to her and then to Keith, irritated, “We’re a  _ team _ .  We stick  _ together _ .”

 

Later, Allura finds a way to get them all off the planet safely and Keith sounds rather proud when he lets the rest of the team know.  Lance will think about it later, how she mentioned Lance is a natural, Keith’s strange pride in this ragtag team, finally being able to form Voltron together.  He thinks maybe they’ll be okay. 

  
  


\---

  
  


The Blue Lion seems to have been  _ made  _ for Allura.  They connect and click so easily.  Lance thinks about the first time he saw Blue, how eyes followed him in a dark cave, the first time she spoke to him.  Allura never questioned his bond with Blue that first day they met and, looking back, he sees why it had been like coming home for Allura when Blue accepted her.  

 

It took a tick, but Allura fell into step with Blue like he had.  He thinks about being the blue paladin, what it means to be one. Allura never explained it.  Now he wants to know more than ever because that means, at one point, he and Allura shared something in common.  

 

He, a boy from Cuba, could have something to compare with an actual space princess.  

  
  


\---

  
  


Shiro comes back to them.  It’s suddenly quite clear how things have gone: without him, they were like kids, trying to figure out how to work things out.  And after the high wears off, warm hugs have been passed out, there’s a tension in Lance’s shoulders. 

 

He looks at Allura and, while she doesn’t return his gaze, he can see it in her too.  Like she’s losing something. Lance wants to tell her that, no way, Blue chose her and let him go.  But the reality of it weighs on him: once again, he doesn’t have place on this team. Shiro will pilot the Black Lion and undoubtedly Red will take Keith back.  

 

Lance tells Keith this.  Allura and Blue have bonded far better and faster than the rest of them.  And Shiro, well, obviously he’s meant to be the Black Lion, right? Keith being a part of Voltron seems set in stone.  Lance? He’s not sure where he’s meant to be anymore. 

 

Keith, in so many words, tells him to shut up.  Lance has to smile at that.

  
  


\---

  
  


She uses the bayard that he used to wield, forms an energy chain sword and, yeah, it’s badass.  He probably shouldn’t have been standing in the middle of a fight to watch but it’s a sight to behold.  She handles close-range fights better than he does; he’ll always be the sharpshooter. Chances are they won’t be fighting right next to each other often.  But he’s close this time, on a Galra base and gets to see her in action. 

 

“Well, that was  _ awesome _ .”

  
  


\---

  
  


Allura doesn’t hide the fact that she loathes Keith’s choice to keep running off with the Blades.  Lance isn’t too hot about it either, as it’s obvious Voltron’s presence is desired. Once again, it’s Allura who goes to talk to Keith about it.  

 

Lance wonders about the Blue Lion again.  Wonders what Blue represents. He notes it’s the blue paladins who get caught up in feelings probably too much; know their teammates too well.  And it’s the blue paladins who seek out their friends, attempt to smooth out creases. 

 

At heart, Keith is a lot like the Red Lion, he realizes.  Because even Allura can’t convince Keith. He announces he’s joining the Blades indefinitely, going on a mission to uncover what Lotor’s been planning.  The look on her face is like she’s lost something again, even when she smiles and tells Keith he’ll make them proud. 

 

Lance wonders if Red knew.  

  
  


\---

  
  


So, Pidge’s brother turns out to be a handsome Italian man that’s just as smart as his sister.  Matt Holt. He introduces himself like a suitor to the Princess of Altea with heart eyes and dashing smile.  Lance can’t have that. 

 

He’s narrowing his eyes darkly at the romantic rival over Allura’s shoulder, as if anyone cares.  Thankfully, Shiro shows up and the whole situation is averted. 

 

\---

  
  


It’s not like Lance isn’t aware other people will take an interest in an actual space princess.  After all, he  _ was  _ trying to flirt with her within moments of meeting her for the first time, albeit at an inappropriate time.  But he realizes that, oh,  _ I’m not the only one  _ and he can’t exactly discern why that bothers him.  

 

When it comes to Allura, it’s a little different and maybe he doesn’t like it when his chest tightens at the sound of her in distress or when someone raises their voice at her.  He’s not sure at what point it happened, but he’s not mindlessly flirting with her anymore. Instead, it’s morphed into something else. He wouldn’t use the word  _ protective _ but maybe it’s close.  He blanlently expresses it too, which probably doesn’t help his case.  

 

“Dude,  _ chill _ ,” Hunk mutters with some jest.  

 

Lance looks at him, clearly offended.  He didn’t say a word. Just crossed his arms and glared at Matt’s back.  Hunk is suppressing a smile and walking off to join Pidge, leaving him to stalk after the rest of them.  

  
  


\---

  
  


They all knew the coalition’s takeover was going to be tough.  As long as everyone involved could pull their own, they could do it.  Lance is probably more confident than he should be, but, so far, Voltron’s never let them down.  

 

Nexzela proves to be more terrifying than it has any right to be.  

 

There’s crushing gravity all around them.  Taking heavy fire from Galra droids, they descend to Nexzela’s core.  Allura had mentioned a dark energy coursing through the planet and they soon find out why: it had been an Altean terraforming planet.  

 

Allura reaches for the center, her magic glowing like a small star in her palm as she tentatively goes to touch.  His heart is in his throat when the power surges forward, engulfing her in electric tendrils and she screams. Lance is already trying to grab her and he’s only somewhat aware the others follow, attempting to pull her away.  Then they’re all screaming as white hot pain shoots through the paladins. 

 

They collapse onto the ground and Lance thinks  _ Allura _ .  Sitting back up is like a fight but he’s reaching for her, asking if she’s all right.  She nods and he takes it as a win, regardless of the situation. Then Hunk realizes the whole planet is a bomb---one that will take out several solar systems.  Another thing to worry about. 

 

They get back to the surface, battered and under the gravity wells.  Voltron falls further down and things just couldn’t get any worse. Shiro tells them they have to think of something and, yeah, no shit.  He’s sure Pidge is silently panicking, running all the programs she can think of. Lance? Well…

 

Lance thinks  _ Allura _ once again.  He pulls up her comm.  

 

“You have a connection to this magic,” he says and he’s not sure why he feels like he’s pleading with her.  “I know you can stop this somehow. We all saw what you did with the Balmara and how you power the Castle.”

 

“I don’t know---I haven’t been trained…”

  
  


It’s strange, he thinks, because Allura is the one who brought them together in the first placed.  Called them by name, gave them their Lions and believed they could be the defenders of this universe.  And, for whatever reason, she can’t believe she could do something. Perhaps it’s just him---just Lance who would bet Allura could single handedly save them all.  

 

He’d bet the universe depended on Allura, honestly.  

 

“No one trained you to save the Balmera but you did that.  I know you can do it. There’s a reason why the Blue Lion chose you.  You’re the one who brought everyone together. You can do this. Every moment we’ve had together, it’s led to this day.  This is your destiny.”

 

He says it like he’s known it all along.  He thinks about the Blue Lion again, the moment he was shut out and nudged to Red.  Thinks about what being a blue paladin means, what Allura means to the whole team. Thinks about starlight eyes, looking for something lost.  

 

Lance thinks he finally understands when he says, “You’re the heart of Voltron.”

 

Because, yeah, it’s true.  

 

Then Voltron breathes back to life and he feels something new flow through him.  It’s warm and assuring, washing over them all as Voltron stands, takes off the surface of Nexzela.  When she breathes out, they all feel it, lightning in their veins. Her magic bleeds through them like a beating heart.  And he can’t stop smiling, pride for her swelling beneath his skin. Because  _ she’s _ doing this,  _ she’s _ the reason Voltron is here now,  _ she’s _ the one to save them (again).  

 

“Thank you, Lance,” she says quietly, tired but there’s joy in it.  

 

“That was all you,” he says, automatically, just a soft.  

 

Even though he doesn’t have her screen up, he’d like to imagine she’s smiling.  The kind of smile that seems like she’s found that lost something. 

  
  


\---

  
  


Things get thrown up in the air after that.  

 

While Allura might have saved Voltron, the events that followed are overloading his brain.  They lost people in the large scaled attack, Keith almost died to ensure several solar systems weren’t taken out and Prince Lotor ended up averting the crisis altogether.  Apparently, they could only take one issue at a time and Keith doesn’t like talking about things so they just handle the Lotor situation first. 

 

Thankfully, it includes imprisoning him.  Lance isn’t sure how he feels about it but he knows that Allura and Shiro seem to be on opposing sides.  While he usually  _ wants _ to follow Shiro’s lead, he’s finding he can’t.  He understands where Allura may be coming from; anything to do with the Galra, she’s going to be throwing up her guard.  And Shiro likes to stay in a buffer zone of neutrality. But Lotor---

 

\---well, it doesn’t help that Lance doesn’t like the guy.  

  
  


\---

  
  


Despite having a big win for Team Voltron, he finds Allura on the bridge, an obvious rigidness in her composure.  He recognizes it well. His default mode in approaching these situations is humor, so that’s exactly what he does when he rounds her station to face her.  

 

He’s trying to encourage her; the speech is probably in less than a varga, which means she’s more in likely worried about it.  He jokes about having a script screen or writing things down on her hand. She gives him a look that usually has him withering away but he slaps on a huge grin anyway.  

 

Pidge pops up on her screen, tells Allura the conference is ready.  He walks with her, bumps her shoulder in jest. She gives him another damning look but a tick later, he catches the brief roll of her eyes and a smile fighting on her lips.  

 

“You’ll do great,” he says before they enter the conference room.  

 

She doesn’t respond but he’d like to think the nod she gives him is a bit like self-assurance.  He stands at her right side during the speech she delivers, next to Shiro.

  
  


\---

  
  


Lotor’s intel gives them enough to take down some bases without much trouble at all.  Lance isn’t going to complain, honestly. It’s the first real big break they’ve been given since, well, for some time.  So no one finds Lance griping about it.

 

Until they’re faced with trading Lotor for Pidge’s father and Lotor pulls out the “a new generation with the children of King Alfor and Emperor Zarkon” card and he’s completely siding with Pidge all the way.  Selfish, he’s aware, but he’s not about to be ashamed by it. What Lotor is implying seems painfully obvious and he’s not sure how that flew over everyone else’s heads. 

 

Pidge is beside herself and he kinda gets it.  She had always been dead set on entering the vacuum of space to find her brother and father, whether they were dead or alive.  She’s so close and yet everyone is hesitant to make the trade. Lotor’s valuable, yeah, but it doesn’t seem like it’d be the biggest loss they’d had if they hand him over.  

 

Allura obviously doesn’t want to let Lotor go, while simultaneously not agreeing with the prince on a single issue.  It’s an odd dynamic. She wants him as a prisoner; not truly an ally. And she does bring up the point that, yes, Zarkon will absolutely doublecross them.  Then Hunk agrees and that’s when Pidge snaps; apparently Hunk not being on her side is the ultimate betrayal. Shiro has to shut them all up by yelling. 

  
  


\---

  
  


Coran, Hunk, Allura and Lance watch the exchange from the castle.  It’s tense and he’s holding his breath ticks apart, arms crossed. It’s to ensure the agreement.  But, if he’ll be honest, he’s ready to make a run for Red the moment shit hits the fan.

 

And then it does.  

 

Sam Holt is still kept as prisoner, Lotor attacks Zarkon, the rest of their team is headed to engage and the Galra fleet is mobilizing from orbit.  

 

Because he seems to be the only one to recover from the shock, Lance says, “Everyone, get to your Lions.  We need to protect our team and get Sam.”

 

It’s a shit-show, honestly.  And he’s not sure when it happened but he’s taking the lead in the air.  He’s telling Hunk and Allura to secure the shuttle Sam Holt is on while he plainly hears the battle happening inside.  They have to take out the fleet first and, oh, thank the stars for Coran because the Galra battleship almost fires their ion cannon right at them.  Coran attacks it in the nick of time.

 

When  _ that _ battle is over, Lance gets to say nice job to the team.  And then Shiro asks, “Where’s Lotor and Zarkon?” And Lance tries to find reason to care; if they want to fight and wipe each other out, then they are more than welcome to.  

 

Then it becomes clear  _ why _ Shiro asked.  

 

At first, Lance thinks he might be mistaken.  There’s no way the black bayard is in Zarkon’s hands.  No way that he’s using it to vaporize Lotor in just a few ticks.  No way because that would be that somehow Shiro had handed it off at some point.  And that would have most likely been before the exchange. It would mean Shiro armed Lotor with the black paladin’s bayard.  

 

Lance fires the first shot from his Lion at Zarkon.  Then the others follow. And when Zarkon readies to fire right back, he can hear Allura’s gasp.  Not because Zarkon’s about to obliterate them---because Lotor closes the distance between him and his father, blade in hand.  

 

No one says a word after, an obsidian sword through the heart of a tyrant and echoes of his scream still in the air.  


	2. Chapter 2

Frankly, Lance still votes Lotor should be in a cell but somehow he’s chilling on the bridge with Allura and, by reflex, Lance is crossing his arms at the scene.  Allura looks like she’s been caught with something and Lotor seems like he’s at home. Lance is trying  _ really _ hard not to protest.  

 

“Look, it’s Prince Lotor.  Just hangin’ out on the bridge.”

 

Maybe not that hard.

 

“Guess this is a thing that’s happening,” Pidge adds.  

 

“I suppose we’ll all have to get used to it---” Coran begins but Lance stops listening when he says another weird reference and thinks  _ What do you mean ‘get used to’?   _

 

Lotor starts talking about the Krel Zera and Lance is mentally tallying off reasons why collaborating with the disowned prince of the Galra Empire is probably a bad decision.  He voices at least one of them and, thankfully, Allura translates his sarcasm into something more diplomatic. 

 

Then Shiro does that thing again.  Lance is attempting to give Shiro credit since coming back---they’ve all changed.  Fighting Zarkon probably messed with Shiro more than they’ve given thought to. And, well, before that, Shiro was barely keeping it together at the seams.  But he and Allura are on opposite sides of this debate. 

 

“Putting Prince Lotor on the throne  _ is _ what we’ve been discussing,” Shiro says to Allura.  

 

There’s a flicker of a frown on Allura’s features.  Pidge adds, “Yeah, but no one told us that would mean flying into a war zone.”

 

“We can’t plan an operation like this so quickly,” Allura looks directly at Shiro.  

 

Lance thinks that might be the end of it because she says it with finality.  That’s it. They’re not going in there with Voltron  _ just _ for Lotor, who  _ might _ have a chance of winning whatever battle for the throne the Galra hold.  

 

But Shiro continues, “We don’t have a choice.”

 

Don’t have a choice?  Lance keeps his arms crossed over his chest.  What does that mean? Just because the guy took down Zarkon, doesn’t mean they do whatever he wants. Getting Lotor out to this Krel Zera seems like a big risk and they’re all still reeling from that last battle.  

 

“I’m with Allura,” Lance finds himself saying, “We need time to think this over.”

 

“Lance, this is not your call,” Shiro tells him coldly.  

 

Part of him is struck by it.  Not his call? Sure, he gets it.  But one of the first things Shiro said to them before they began this space adventure was  _ This is a team decision _ .  They’re a  _ team _ .  That’s the point.  

 

He gets it.  Allura and Shiro usually call the shots.  They’re usually the ones to take the lead in a lot of situations.  And maybe Lance had gotten ahead of himself. He may be the right hand of Voltron but Keith never made the big decisions.  When Shiro’s not there, Lance now takes the lead in battles. But he supposes that when it comes to these discussions, he can’t weigh in.  

 

And that sucks.

 

“Allura, the coalition wouldn’t be where it is now without Lotor,” Shiro turns all his attention back to her.  “We need to listen to him.”

 

Lance glances between them, feeling a bit defensive but stays quiet.  He feels like something’s off, not quite right. Because Shiro’s obviously siding with Lotor now.  And, yeah, the guy took down Zarkon when they couldn’t. And he saved the coalition from being wiped out.  But flying right into the heart of the Galra Empire? For Lotor? 

 

To say Lotor got them there sounds like a bit much.  He’d like to say Voltron did that. The Blade of Marmora.   _ Allura _ .  But, whatever.  

 

“Well, I’m with Allura too,” Pidge cuts in, “This is too dangerous to pull off last minute.”

 

“Agreed.  So it looks like a four-two in the Princess’ favor,” Coran says with a small shrug.  

 

“Look, it’s not a vote.  I’m the leader of Voltron.  I’m making this decision.”

 

Um, what?  Lance unfolds his arms.  When does Shiro say things like this?  He’s never pulled rank like this. Maybe once he came close when he told Allura she can’t just go inside a Galra base by herself.  Everything has been like a democracy, honestly. They all chose to enter the wormhole together, all followed Allura’s lead to get the Lions, all decided that, yeah,  _ we’ll fight some fascist alien jerks _ .  

 

Allura steps closer to Shiro, instantly on the offensive.  “Like when you armed Lotor with  _ your  _ bayard without consulting the rest of us?”

 

Oh, she’s still pretty mad about that.  Which, yeah, they should talk about that because--- _ what _ ? 

 

“That’s right,” Shiro defends himself, “Making that decision resulted in the removal of Zarkon.”

 

“You put the whole operation in jeopardy,” she spits back.  

 

“ _ I _ put an end to Zarkon’s reign.  Now is the time to finish the job.”

 

It’s getting tense and no one seems to wanna cut in to their debate.  It’s getting obvious that there’s a power difference between the two of them.  Allura leads them in the Castle but Shiro’s the field leader. It’s just the two worlds colliding.  They just need to find a middle ground. 

 

Lance steps closer, facing Shiro, disarmed.  Quietly, “Shiro, we’re all on the same side here.”

 

Shiro whips around, leaning into Lance’s space and raises his voice, “I told you to stay out of this!”

 

It’s quiet for a few ticks and it’s the longest stretch of time he’s had to suffer.  Shiro’s glaring at him and he doesn’t remember a time Shiro’s looked at him that way.  Some warning glances when he’s flirting with girls or fighting with Keith, yeah. But not like this.  

 

He remembers when he flew with Blue.  He had a place in Voltron, was so sure of his place on the team.  Now he’s with Red, out of place and he doesn’t even have a voice in this discussion.  And it’s  _ Shiro  _ telling him that.  Vaguely, he remembers a line about never meeting your heroes, that they will disappoint you in the end.  Shiro is  _ his  _ hero and he’s always tried to live up to that bar.  

 

Lotor has to cut in.  Lance tries to ignore the twinge in his chest.  

  
  


\---

  
  


He finds himself in the training room.  

 

It’s not like he went there to work off anger or to think.  It’s just, well, he’s not needed anywhere else. He’s in his full uniform, finding nothing better to do and pulls up the simulation.  Once it begins, he doesn’t stop. 

 

His bayard is in the familiar form of the power gun while his shield is up, protecting him from any laser blasts from the drones.  The level of difficulty is set to three, which isn’t too bad. And it’s supposed to be for long-range fighting style but it’s starting to feel more like close combat.  

 

He thinks about Shiro, about what happens when a team starts crumbling apart.  Thinks about the Holt family and then his own family. Thinks about being the Red Lion, how he shouldn’t be comparing himself to others.  

 

Lance closes his eyes.  Breathes in. It’s by instinct that he swings around, cutting the drones down in one swoop.  Then he’s swinging again and again, halving the drones until they dissipate in the air. It takes him a second but he realizes he’s holding a large blade in his hand, not the gun.  He doesn’t recognize it; Keith held a sword with the red bayard but this one’s a bit different. 

 

“Whoa,” he breathes out.

 

“I haven’t seen that in 10,000 years,” comes a calm voice from the corner.  

 

He nearly jumps, seeing Allura there.  How long has she been watching? She comes closer and he’s stuttering her name out.  

 

“It’s an Altean broadsword,” she explains and he doesn’t miss the fondness in her voice, “My father used one just like it.”

 

Oh.  Well, that’s odd.  He wouldn’t have known what they would have looked like.  Or why he would use a sword. He’s never used one before. And, strangely enough, it came easy to him.  But now, with that knowledge, it feels heavy in his hands. “I have no idea how I did this.”

 

“I think your bayard has shown you what we’ve all been noticing,” Allura says, softly.  “That you have greatness within.”

 

Greatness?  

 

Later, he’ll think how sad it is that he quickly responds with, “Huh.  I don’t think Shiro has noticed.”

 

The air changes between them and he regrets bringing it up almost instantly.  Honestly, he rarely gets to talk with anyone on the team lately. One-on-ones are hard to come by for him since the dynamics of the team has changed.  Hunk and Pidge are joined at the hip, which he won’t fault them for. He’s finding himself talking to Allura more often since she’s bonded with Blue, though even that is far and few in between.  Shiro’s...well, Shiro has taken up the Lone Wolf status, especially since Keith’s left. Coran is a different story altogether. 

 

But Allura continues, despite the shift.  “Shiro has been quite difficult lately. I’m not sure what to do.  We seem to be constantly at odds.”

 

Lance is glad she says it aloud because, yeah, he’s noticed it too.  They used to be in sync with each other. Not the same but at least they could find that middle ground.  The rest of the team easily followed both their leads. It’s different now. There’s a lot more at stake.  

 

“You guys are under a lot of pressure,” Lance says and decides to add, “Having  _ Lotor  _ around doesn’t help.”

 

“Sometimes it feels like it was easier fighting the Galra rather than working with them,” Allura admits.  

 

“You both have the coalitions best interests at heart,” Lance assures her.  “Don’t forget that. Shiro isn’t your enemy.”

 

He feels like he needs to say it aloud.  For both of them. Because, despite the tension and humiliation, Shiro will probably always be his hero.  And she’ll always be the Princess of Altea. They’re both symbols, whether they know it or not. The coalition looks to them; the faces of team Voltron.  If Allura doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t mind nudging her back on that path she first laid out for all of them. 

 

She’s looking at him with some startlement.  As if she’s surprised those words came out of his mouth.  Maybe he’s a bit shocked too, after everything that’s happened.  But it can’t be  _ that _ unbelievable.  

 

“You’re right.  I need to stay focused on the big picture,” and then she’s smiling, as if she’s found a bit of that something again.  So, naturally, he’s smiling right back at her, by reflex. His chest swells a little; it’s doing that thing when it comes to her.  “Thank you, Lance. Speaking with you has actually made me feel better.”

 

He narrows his eyes and says with some mock annoyance, “What do you mean  _ ‘actually’ _ ?”

 

They share some laughter together and he decides he rather likes the sound.  Maybe he’ll try harder to make her laugh in the future and---

 

\---and then she’s closer, hand on his shoulder, another clasped around his wrist and his brain kinda fuzzes out.  

 

“Oh, and Lance.  If you are going to control a sword this powerful…”

 

His eyes are wide and he’s trying hard not to freeze up but, yeah, he’s too focused on just not being too flustered.  He can barely register the fact that she’s far too close, just brushing against his back. 

 

Then she trips him, takes the broadsword from his grasp and he lands unceremoniously on his back, staring dumbfounded up at her rather smug grin.

 

“You’re going to have to work on your stance.”

 

And then he’s working on a whole new issue.  

  
  


\---

  
  
  


On the astral plane, there’s a new set of rules.  

 

Lance is familiar with meditation and focus.  He’s got the alone-time concept down pretty well, having siblings and all.  He’s good at evading his thoughts when he wants to; cool down. But this is a whole different ball game.  

 

It’s stars and nebulas, like drifting through space and time.  It’s beautiful and terrifying all at once. He sees Hunk’s form first.  Then Pidge. Allura appears and then it hits him: all their feelings, all their thoughts, they’re surrounding him.   _ Voltron. _  Five become one.  That’s the point. 

 

It becomes obvious there’s one missing.  Shiro. Allura’s thinking it, thinking of saving the people of Olkarion,  _ help them, where are you, Shiro?  Everyone’s here, why aren’t you---? _

 

“ _ Shiro _ !” Allura yells and it’s like he’s calling out too.  

 

(Hunk is a lot like acceptance, the cool down period after a long run and bright laughter.  He’s the life, even after exhaustion. Lance realizes now that Hunk’s always been that way; got shot out into space because, well, his buddy would need him.)

 

He feels her creeping panic, Pidge’s anxiety, Hunk’s confusion.  But he can’t feel Shiro. So they all are saying his name, calling out for the black paladin.  They surround him, their thoughts, and it affects his own. Lance narrows his focus instead, hones in on what they’re here for.

 

(Pidge is excellence, morning coffee before the sunrise and wistful sighs.  She’s driving force, barrelling through, even when failure seems eminent. Lance thinks it’s fitting because Pidge never gives up, hates the idea of defeat.  It’s why she’s got her family back.)

 

When Shiro fades into their sight, Lance can feel that too.  There’s an outpour of relief from all them, mutual and washes away whatever doubt they had before.  

 

(Allura is hope, the colors of new stars forming and a double edged sword.  He feels her the most, the heart of Voltron and it’s  _ warm _ .  She’s loss and joy all at once, having grieved over her world destroyed and still uncovering her vision of a brighter future.  He’d like to surround himself in that.)

 

Voltron awakes.  

  
  


\---

  
  


“ _ Lance… _ !”

 

He and Shiro are the last to go.  It’s odd, he’ll think later, how he can only faintly feel Shiro.  Lance frowns and strains to hear what he’s got to say.

 

“Lance, listen to me---”

 

Shiro feels like summer rain; in the sun and barely visible but ever present.  A reassurance of better things. 

 

Then he can’t feel anything at all.  

  
  


\---

  
  


Later, he asks Shiro what he wanted to say to him.  Shiro looks confused, so Lance drops it. He apologizes for his behavior and because it’s  _ Shiro _ , of course Lance instantly forgives him.  

  
  


\---

  
  


Lance has only been involved in one war.  

 

On Earth, wars were happening all the time.  The Garrison ensured there would be a peace between the nations of sorts.  But even the Garrison can’t stop conflicts over resources. He remembers history class and listening to world events from the past.  But he’s never had to be a war soldier. His ambition had always been to be a pilot. Wars weren’t meant for someone like him, he’s always figured.  

 

So far, Lance has been good about going with the flow.  There’s not exactly a handbook on how to deal with being on the frontlines of a intergalactic space war.  He thinks he’s doing pretty well. 

 

But, for the life of him, he doesn’t understand why newly crowned Emperor Lotor needs time alone with Princess Allura.  He can list all the reasons  _ why not _ .  He knows it’s probably something he should work on; he feels like there should be another party present.  Like a bodyguard or something. She’s a princess, right? They should be protecting their princess.

 

Hunk and Pidge don’t seem bothered by it.  He knows Allura could wipe the floor with anyone.  But it doesn’t help that odd feeling creeping back in.  He’s not sure what to call it yet. The droid stops him from pattering after Allura and Lotor, so he ends up with the science duo, which turns out to be rather fun.  

 

Does war involve these new dynamics?  The end of wars, maybe. He supposes this is it; they’ve all ended a 10,000 year old war and this is what it looks like.  What happens to the soldiers afterwards? 

  
  


\---

  
  


Allura and Lotor come back with information about a mystical place called Oriande.  Sounds fake, kinda cool and apparently they’re headed there. 

 

As the team's official Cool Guy, he does his best not to freak out when it turns out only  _ chosen  _ Alteans can enter this space version of El Dorado.  The Cool Guy award goes to Hunk, who miraculously keeps chill during this entire ordeal.  

 

He and Coran are the only ones who are pleading with Allura not to go.  They all almost died trying the first time. Now Allura wants to go with  _ Lotor _ .  Lance is honestly about to have an aneurysm.  He gets it,  _ he does _ .  She wants to unlock whatever secrets there are but she  _ has  _ to know she already is powerful; already is able to save them  _ and _ the universe.  It’s not worth the risk.  

 

But then Coran looks defeated, as if he’s giving in.  Lance inwardly panics. He thinks about the last few months and how he and Allura have gotten closer, how he’s found someone to confide in without judgement, someone who shares  _ something _ with him.  Understands him because of their link through Blue, listens to him when everyone else is busy.  And how that could be easily ripped away. 

 

“Coran, don’t tell me you’re gonna cave in on this!” 

 

Allura looks at him then and he doesn’t breathe.  She’s smiling. It’s not the one he quite likes. It’s more like she’s looking forward to something.  It’s understandable. And he can empathize. But it’s already decided. Whenever Allura says she’ll do something, it ends up happening.  

 

“Don’t worry,” she says to him, “This will work.  I can feel it.”

  
  


\---

  
  


The ship is running out of air, so it might be the lack of oxygen that has him more on edge than ever.  He can’t stop thinking about Allura and Lotor and if she’s all right, if she’s coming back. And of course he’s voicing his thought process aloud.  

 

For the most part, everyone ignores him.  Until Pidge can no longer deal with it and screams for Shiro to get him out.  And Shiro does and Lance, defeated, rests his head against the corridor wall, wondering why no one else is more concerned for the princess.

  
  


\---

  
  


When Allura comes back (unfortunately, with Lotor), they’re all on the bridge.  He’s laying across her control station. In his dazed, oxygen-deprived state, he had thought that if he fell asleep, he’d get to wake up to her telling him she needs to stand there to work the Castle.  Or something like that. 

 

It’s Hunk who drags him off the platform in order to let Allura on.  Lance merely rolls, basically climbing on Hunk to stand. The smile she has is different.  Not quite like she’s found something but like she’s  _ won _ .  Allura wears victory well, he thinks.  It’s a good look. 

 

Allura credits Lotor and everyone in the room doesn’t say a word.  Lance has to remember to school his facial expression but he’s sure it shows his distaste for it.  Doesn’t she know? Allura doesn’t need him. Or anyone, really. But, whatever. 

  
  


\---

  
  


He keeps at his station, still recovering from the lack of oxygen and watches as Lotor and Allura compliment each other.  He’s not used to this. Not used to being the watcher, on the sidelines. He’d usually take the lead on Earth. While he’s fine with the dynamics of the team, adding Lotor has thrown everything off.  

 

It must be just him.  At first, everyone was against the idea of Lotor being close to Voltron.  Allura had been the one leading that debate. Now everyone acts like it’s normal.  He sorta wishes Keith were here. Maybe he’d on Lance’s side for once, since Keith was the one to leave to find out what Lotor was planning in the first place.  Or maybe he’s just---

 

(Jealous.)

 

Lance pretends it’s not a big deal and pulls up the diagnostics on his screen, tearing his eyes away from the royal duo.  

  
  


\---

  
  


Jealousy doesn’t burn.  

 

Lance remembers growing up with metaphors for all sorts of emotions.  The spectrum involves the butterflies for infatuation, the cold wash of fear, the pinch of annoyance.  However, the one that Lance could never relate to was the burn of envy. 

 

It was supposed to burn, anyway.

 

In the Garrison, he had been competing to be a pilot, against his self-proclaimed rival.  He hadn’t been jealous; he didn’t have time to be. Instead, he worked harder, talked a big game and got the spot he wanted when Keith dropped out.  Not the ideal situation, but thankfully, he never had to be jealous of Keith.

 

There’s never been anything that has made him truly jealous.  He’s never had that time. He usually gets lucky---he knows that.  The Blue Lion chose him first until she didn’t. Even in between that space of time, he couldn’t feel jealous of any of his teammates---the Red Lion picked him up before he could wallow in pity for Blue letting him go.  And when he realized Keith may want Red back and he’d have to stay behind, he still hadn’t been jealous. Not when Allura connected to Blue better than he had originally, not when, yeah, he kinda missed Blue a bit. 

 

But as soon as it hits him, Lance recognizes it for what it is.  

 

It’s the little things, mostly.  Lotor is mentioned and her face brightens in a way he wants to hate.  She speaks to Lotor as if he’s somehow on her level---which Lance would like to remind everyone that, no, Lotor could not compare to anything she is.  Lotor mentions anything about Altean culture and Lance  _ swears _ there’s some cheesy background music when she basically vibrates with excitement.  

 

By all means, he should be happy.  Lotor signifies hope that the Galra Empire is headed in a time of peace.  The prince could help end the war, let everyone go  _ home _ .  And, yeah, Lance feels like this could be the end of this weird sci-fi dream he’s been having and he could see his family.  That’d be nice. But it’d also be nice if Lance could bring himself to like the guy too. Shiro’s on board fully, which sucks, because he’s usually the first to use caution.  And Lotor’s walking around the Castle of Lions like he’s lived with them from the start. 

 

But then Lance catches Allura looking at Lotor like he put the stars in the void of space and he’s not breathing.  

 

No.  Jealousy doesn’t burn.  

 

It’s like his chest has imploded on itself.  He can’t breathe and it’s like drowning. Can’t say a word, can’t act on it.  For Lance, it feels a lot like defeat but twisted until it curls inside his lungs.  

  
  


\---

  
  


Hunk’s saying something over the comm.  It sounds rather urgent. And then Pidge is screaming Shiro’s name, like more could go wrong than it already is.  Lance waits to make sure he’s not needed to get down into the Omega Shield base and grips the handles a bit harder.  

 

But then the shielding plates spark within the fissures and he recognizes what’s happening before he can warn anyone.  He  _ knows _ Blue.  He knows Allura can’t move fast enough.  The electric current speeds between the cracks of the plates and hit the ice.  He doesn’t feel much; fear has an odd first imprint on the body. He’s numb and acts before he can think of another plan.  ( _ So much for being leader _ , he’ll think later, _ just doing things instinctively _ .)   He pushes Red to collide into the Blue Lion instead.  It works. Sorta.

 

The current hits him instead.  And, yeah, he should have thought about that part a bit.  He’s screaming and that’s all he registers before he’s out.  

  
  


\---

  
  


It’s cold.  He knows it’s cold because suddenly it gets warmer.  

 

There had been nothingness before, he recalls.  Just a void and he thinks he probably should have stayed there, if the laws of the universe meant anything.  A warmth washes over him, chases away the cold and he knows it by name. 

 

_ Allura. _

 

It doesn’t make sense, actually, how he feels the energy coursing through him is her.  He just knows it is. Lance is almost sure he’s felt it before. When there had been crushing gravity on a planet ready to explode and take out several solar systems and Allura breathed new life into Voltron.   _ The heart. _

 

He opens his eyes to see her there.  If he hadn’t been so tired, he would have cracked a joke, something flirtatious about her being an angel.  He’s vaguely aware she’s cradling him, holding on to him inside the cockpit, as if he’d fly right out. It occurs to him that  _ she  _ must have flown out of Blue.  Or maybe he missed time. He’s not entirely sure what happened but that expression on her face tells Lance he almost died or came rather close.  

 

But, wow, that smile is enough for him to breathe.  

 

“You saved me,” is all he can say.  A statement. Because he wants to validate it, wants her to tell him it’s true.  

 

“I owed you one.”

 

The way she says it makes him smile.  She’s smiling too, like she had lost something special and just uncovered it.  It’s enough to make him shift and slump into her. He could take a nap like that, against her, comfortable in her arms.  

  
  


\---

  
  


He’s wandering the large hanger with Hunk and Pidge.  They had come across him headed in that direction and stated they wanted to help with the designs of the ship to enter the gate.  Lance says he’ll go with them but he’s pretty sure they already know he had been wanting to check on Allura. 

 

And of course they arrive right at the moment Lotor and Allura are leaning into each other.  He can’t say a thing. And thank the stars it’s Pidge and Hunk who speak up because he’s almost sure he was about to witness something that would mess him up for a good decapheabe.  Allura’s scrambling away from Lotor on the high rise, composing herself. Lotor stays right where he was, cool and calm and looking rather smug, if Lance has anything to say about it.

 

Hunk and Pidge offer their expertise and then Lance is making an ass of himself, trying to assert himself in front of a space prince and princess and it all goes rather badly.  The wrench-thing in his hand falls and clatters to the ground rather loudly. No one comments on it, and that’s almost worse. The assistance is declined gently and Hunk and Pidge roll off to their lab, he’s sure.  Lance tries again, offering to be the third wheel and even that’s ignored. He ends up following his friends, having nothing better to do. He tries to ignore the way his chest feels like it’s caving in on itself. 

  
  


\---

  
  


Later, he’s staring at a holoscreen, numbly.  Hunk and Pidge are testing something out, comparing Altean and Galra tech and they have him doing something mundane, which he managed to finish without much input.  

 

Instead of paying attention, he’s focused on keeping his head above water.  

 

Someone hits him with something metallic and he’s swinging around, rubbing the back of his head and looking at them accusingly.  “Ow! What the heck---?”

 

Hunk’s doing that annoying Allura impression again.  Stupid heart eyes and all. “Oh, Lance, will you stop daydreaming about me and test the connection?”

 

Lance immediately swings back around, more to hide his embarrassment and slowly growing defeat as he swipes at the screen.  “Ha  _ ha _ .  Not funny.  And I’m not daydreaming about you.  ---I mean her.”

 

“That’s good,” Pidge says and he swears he hears the teasing in her tone.  “Because it seems like Allura’s got a thing with Lotor anyway.”

 

Indignantly, Lance shoots up in his chair and yelps, “A thing?!”

 

“Yeah, a thing.  Y’know, they’re probably gonna get married, have alien babies with beautiful, flowing white hair.  All that stuff,” adds Hunk, rather unnecessarily. 

 

Lance feels that implosion within his chest again.  And...now he’s thinking about it. Great. The worst part is that he could see it happening.  It makes sense. They’re both royalty, both could strengthen an alliance in the universe, both Altean, both far too good looking.  And now they’re only confirming what he’s kinda feared: that’s everyone’s been thinking it. It’s not just him and that kinda sucks.  

 

But then both of them just had to continue and play out some dumb scenario where Lotor’s proposing and Lance feels a flush of unadulterated irritation.  It dissipates as soon as it came, however and that lung-crushing comes back. That defeat. So he sticks around for a bit longer, waits until they’re done ‘needing’ him and sulks off.  

  
  


\---

  
  


He’s in the lounging area, doing a great job of brooding when the space mice come to bother him.  He’d like to pretend they’re genuinely curious about his mood but he’s got a feeling they’re just hungry for attention.  Allura’s busy with Lotor and Pidge is consumed new tech to keep the mice company. He’s just an easy target, he figures. 

 

“Oh, great.  You guys here to make fun of me too?”

 

One of the mice fall right into his mouth and he gags, flailing to get them off as they’ve clearly made it their mission to torture him.  He picks them all up and glares but, yeah, they’re really cute and he sinks back into the couch, letting them fall into his lap. 

 

And then he’s talking about Allura (like  _ always _ , he’s starting to realize).  Hunk and Pidge clearly don’t want to listen and if the mice are going to stick around, he’ll just share.  It’s not like they care to say anything or even ponder his feelings. Might as well. 

 

Once he starts, he feels like he can’t stop.  The words come tumbling out and it’s as if he hasn’t talked to anyone about this stupid crush.  Infatuation. Whatever it is. Because it keeps growing into something like narrowed vision and he kinda hates it.  

 

He used to be the one who didn’t get it.  Used to be the one by Hunk and Pidge, making fun of people who had their hearts on their sleeves.  People who allowed themselves to get hurt so easily. And he’s suddenly on the other side of that. In love with an alien girl who’s far too beautiful and powerful.  He’s comparing himself to Lotor, which is a bad idea because---

 

“---I’m just a boy from Cuba.  Not a space prince like Lotor.”

 

He looks down and the space mice are passed out.  He sighs and gathers them up in his arms. Eventually, he gives them a bath and they splash water all over his clothes just to mess with him.  

  
  


\---

  
  


He thinks more about the first impression he gave Allura.  It occurs to him that he was the first person she had seen since being placed in the cryopod.  And that might have put her off to him more than anyone else in the group.  _ Of course _ the first thing he did was flirt.  And continue flirting because he can’t help himself.  

 

It’s easy to flirt.  Safer. Because he puts himself out there, ready to be rejected.  There’s no disappointment if he’s prepared for it. But there’s a shift now and he  _ can’t _ flirt with her anymore.  Because he’d rather not get rejected by her.  And if he doesn’t put himself out there, he doesn’t have to worry about her telling him she doesn’t take his feelings seriously.  He wouldn’t blame her for it. 

 

So, no worries on that front.  Don’t flirt, don’t get hurt. 

  
  


\---

  
  


Shiro, Pidge, Hunk and Coran are playing some space version of Dungeons and Dragons.  He only knows because his little brother used to love role playing games like none other.  He’s pretty sure Shiro’s playing some version of a warrior because why wouldn’t he?

 

He had met her in the corridors and couldn’t help the burst of stupid energy he got when he saw her.  If he had to guess, she was taking a mental break from the work with Lotor. He didn’t want to ask. Instead he was mindlessly talking about the Omega Shield mission, her newfound abilities.  Then she was smiling and Lance found a strange pride in that. But then there was screaming from the lounge and they both headed to seek its source. 

 

They offer for Allura and Lance to join.  He’s  _ so _ ready to call them all nerds when Allura jumps right in, happily.  She mentions Lotor and it feels a bit like a challenge. So he says he’ll play the game too and if he slips in the fact that he’s worked out already, so what?  He places himself right beside Allura and she doesn’t shift or move, smiles at him again and he swears her eyes have a certain playful glint to them. 

 

When they’re finished, it’s been a few vargas.  He’s delighted and far more giddy than he has any right to be.

 

“It seemed like no time at all,” Allura says, glancing at him.

 

Lance is lazily leaning back against the couch, staring at her for probably too long.  “Yeah, we have a pretty good time together, don’t we?”

 

He really shouldn’t have said it, honestly.  It’s bordering that flirty talk and he’s walking a thin line with it.  He’s almost sure if Hunk and Pidge were here, they’d probably make mocking faces at him.  He’s holding back, though. Because the hopeful tone seeps into his words at the end, needing that helpless validation.  

 

“We sure do,” she says and that smile is spread across his face.  

 

Of course, Lotor blips up on her holoscreen and Lance’s expression falls while hers seems to brighten.  His chest tightens, that crushing feeling in his lungs. She leaves without even saying goodbye and he turns back to the game.  He thinks how easily it is to turn his mood around when Allura’s involved. 

 

Coran offers another round and Lance reluctantly agrees, having nothing better to do besides exercise on this ship.  The three of them play and the story goes on. Lance finds himself enjoying the plot’s divergence. His character talks about the archer with healing arrows, Shiro’s character talks about his nemesis and they both come across some sort of curse Coran made up on the spot.  If Coran and Shiro notice how his character is obviously infatuated with Allura’s, they don’t mention it. 

  
  


\---

  
  


Allura and Lotor go through systems check, ready to leave the hanger.  It’s far too tense on the bridge and it feels like all Lance can do is watch.  Hunk voices his concerns and Lance silently thanks the lucky stars because it felt like he was going crazy.  

 

Coran and Hunk seem to think this is a crazy idea.  Pidge and Shiro counter the arguments. Lance knows it’s a losing battle because Allura’s not going to stop because they feel like it’s too much of a risk.  So they all watch as the ship makes its way to the gate and he’s holding his breath again. When he breathes out, he’s saying her name. 

 

“Yes, Lance?” he hears over the comm.  

 

He’s not sure what else to say besides, “Get back safe.”

 

Her face falls a little at that.  It looks mixed, like determination and defeat.  He wonders if it had been the right thing to say but she stares right at him through the screen and, “I will.”

 

A promise.  She  _ promised _ .  Validation, like he needed it.  Like they all did. It’s all he can hold onto when they enter the quintessence field.  Just watch and think  _ she said she’ll get back safe _ .

  
  


\---

  
  


It seems like things are moving way too fast.  All in the span of a varga, Keith is back, looking way older, with his mother, an Altean and a cosmic wolf.  He lets everyone know just how baffling the situation is and he thinks the universe likes to play these games with them, especially when Allura’s not around to halt the process and balance the scales.  

 

And then the bomb drops.  Romelle offers her story and Lance stays relatively quiet throughout.  It’s Pidge and Hunk that offer comments. Honestly, he’s just horrified.  They’ve seen some messed up stuff before but they had  _ welcomed _ Lotor onto their side and Allura is with him  _ right now _ .  

 

An alert tells them Allura and Lotor have passed through the gate again and Romelle tells them to attack.  Lance feels like he keeps repeating himself when he says, “Allura’s with him! We can’t!” Shiro promises they’ll take care of Lotor as soon as Allura’s secure.  

  
  


\---

  
  


Of course, it would be Allura to take him down.  Lance pretends the look on her face when she learns the truth about Lotor doesn’t mirror the one she had given Lance moments ago when he pointed his gun right at the Galra prince.  Betrayal. She feels betrayed by everyone and everything. The hope of peace had all been a lie and it shows plainly on her. 

 

He keeps the blaster trained on Lotor, ready at any given moment.  Lotor is pleading with her and getting closer. Lance breathes out, finger on the trigger.   _ Sharpshooter. _  Lotor makes a move to take her hand and Lance is about to shoot but Allura’s faster.  Takes that same hand, grabs the material on the shoulder and throws Lotor down. Lance watches as Lotor hits the ground twice, completely out cold.  

 

The whole room goes quiet and no one makes a move.  His eyes are on Allura as she closes hers. He swallows.  Everyone jumps when the alarms sound. 

 

Things happen too quickly once more.  Shiro’s trembling, shaking in pain on the floor.  Lotor’s troops are making it out of the hanger to steal the ships away.  Lance takes one look around and begins barking out orders. 

 

“Allura and I will secure Lotor---Hunk, help Shiro.  Everyone else---get down to the hanger and stop those guys!”

 

Everyone begins moving.  The bridge empties and leaves the remaining few as Lance heads towards Lotor.  He registers Hunk’s pained grunt and Coran’s yell the same time he sees the shock written over Allura’s face.  Spinning around, he gapes at Shiro. 

 

“Shiro---what are you doi---?”

 

Then he’s just registering pain and Allura screaming his name as he’s knocked to the ground.  

  
  


\---

  
  


“---before he leaves the ship!”

 

His vision blurred and he’s pretty sure he’s seeing double.  He moves but even that sends him into a slight spin and he drops his head to the cold surface again.  Hearing footsteps, Lance squints his eyes to see a mess of pink and white.  _ Allura _ .  

 

“Lance,” is all she says before he’s holstered up.  Rather easily. He wants to say something about her super strength.   _ Wonder Woman _ or something like that.  But, honestly, he just wants a nap.  He’d like to sleep right there, her holding him.  That’d be nice.

 

Shiro did a number on him and he was only punched once.  Jeez.

 

Allura slings his arm over her shoulders and he’s leaning against her.  He can hear Keith over the comms, asking if they can pilot the lions. He can  _ feel _ Allura’s concern, seeping through the gloved hand that’s over his chest.  But he says it anyway. 

 

“Let’s do this.”

  
  


\---

  
  


Turns out, he won’t get to take that nap any time soon.

 

They blast Keith through a wormhole and nearly get killed by a virus in the Castle of Lions.  Honestly, things couldn’t get any worse. And then they do: it had been  _ Shiro  _ who planted the virus.  By the time Pidge shuts it down, Lance is sure he’s had at least six panic attacks, along with everyone else.  

 

Then they’re left with a dead flying castle but Lance will take what he can get.

  
  


\---

  
  


Coran’s talking to her over the comms.  While he does, he sits at his station, right of Allura’s command controls.  A familiar scene, actually. Despite not having Hunk and Pidge’s intellect, he knows how to work the systems check and he’s been at that spot since this whole adventure began.  

 

When Allura doesn’t respond, he glances up.  This time it’s not his lungs that have a problem; his stomach twists.  She’s got that look that he recognizes as conflict; she wears it like it’s her cross to bare.  Just like everything else. 

 

(When Shiro came back, it was  _ her  _ who warned them they shouldn’t trust Lotor.  It was  _ her  _ who called for caution and Lance was behind her every step of the way.  It isolated both Lance and Allura from Shiro, he realized. Then Lotor found a way to worm into her life.  They had all fell for it but Allura had fallen harder.)

 

“Allura?” 

 

She snaps her attention to him.  “Oh, right. What it is you need?”

 

Coran’s talking about rebooting the system again and she’s working on it.  He merely watches her quietly. As the power lights up, Coran mentions it’s worse and Lance thinks  _ Of course it is. _  So Krolia offers to assist with the repairs and Romelle follows.  Lance stands up, moving closer to Allura’s right. 

 

She’s off in her head again.  Closed off. And it really sucks seeing her like this.  

 

He steps up onto the platform, thinks about reaching out, putting a hand on her shoulder but he keeps it at his side.  Instead, “Allura, you okay? You seem a little distracted.”

 

She blinks and her brow furrows.  “I’m just so angry with myself. I played right into Lotor’s hands and I’m afraid my actions put us in this situation.”

 

“You didn’t put us in this situation,” he says, almost automatically.  As if he has to defend her from herself. He backtracks. “It was Shiro who went rogue and released the virus in the Castle.”

 

“No, this is  _ my  _ fault,” because god forbid anything’s  _ not  _ her fault.  He opens his mouth to counter it but she’s already going on.  “I trusted Lotor. I helped him build and empower his ships, granting him unlimited power to the quintessence field.  I was fooled by him and I put the whole universe in jeopardy.”

 

The universe, he’s come to learn, is relying on Allura probably too much.  And that includes him. He remembers Naxzela, with gravity crushing down on them, he pleaded with Allura because  _ she’s the heart of Voltron, brought life back to the Balmara, harnessed the power of a powerful witch for her own, made a promise to the universe---you will not destroy another world again, breathed new life into him _ .  He’d come to think Allura could do anything and with her and Blue, she’s an unstoppable force.  

 

And maybe that’s her burden too.

 

“How can the coalition ever be expected to trust me when I’m not sure I can trust myself?”

 

_ I trust you.  More than anyone. _

 

“Allura, it wasn’t just you who trusted Lotor.  We all did.” Because it’s true and he hates to admit it aloud.  Suddenly, he understands burning---it’s not just jealousy. It’s guilt.  Guilt is hot and unforgiving, cuts through the flesh and catarizes. He trusted Lotor  _ enough  _ and that’s all it took.  He may have had no trouble pulling a weapon on him when the truth came out but he had trusted him to go with Allura to another reality--- _ twice _ .  And that burned.  “I had more reason than anyone not to trust him.  But he did everything right. He didn’t just fool you.  He fooled us all.”

 

It feels a bit like a confession because, honestly, Allura had more right not to trust Lotor above them all.  Lance could claim general suspicion towards Lotor but everyone was under that same umbrella of caution when Lotor first came to them.  He wonders if she’d take that seriously enough; not question the statement. 

 

When she looks up at him, she seems smaller somehow.  As if she’s crushed by something other than her own guilt.  Something that has to do with Lance. He starts to withdraw, thinks maybe he should step back and let the words sink in, hope they’ve helped.  

 

But then she collides into him, wraps her arms around and buries her face into his shoulder.  He’s gathering her into his arms on instinct, feels her hair graze across his left cheek and stares across the bridge.  

 

“Let me tell you, as someone who has made a million mistakes…” he says quietly, has to stop himself from pulling her closer, “...all you can do is get up and try to make it right.  You can’t doubt yourself now.”

 

Because if Allura is doubting herself, well, the universe truly is screwed.  He can’t be the only one who sees it. They all have to know Allura’s the only reason they’re paladins, that Voltron exists now.  That he’s alive. 

 

(Lotor did.  Lotor recognized it the moment he saw it, Lance is sure of it.  Allura held the key to unlocking Altean alchemy, shifting the universe, offering unlimited power.  He used her and she blamed herself. And that burns Lance too.)

 

“We need you.  The  _ universe  _ needs you.”

 

He feels her grip on his shoulder tighten for a moment before it slackens.  “Thank you, Lance.”

 

She sounds exhausted.  Defeated. It takes him a moment before he realizes his voice is strained too.  They all need a damn nap. But they’re probably not gonna get one anytime soon. Not unless the universe decides they can do without an Altean princess and chill out for a tick.  That’d be kinda nice. 

 

They only pull away when the comm link beeps and Keith is suddenly on the screen.  He spares a quick glance at Allura and notices, with some dread, she had been crying.  

  
  


\---

  
  


Allura says they need to destroy the gate.  So that’s what they do. 

 

Lotor and his generals are on their way.  Coran hasn’t been able to get the Castle running.  And he can basically feel everyone’s growing anticipation.  Pidge says something about attempting to survive in a voice that makes him think they’ve already lost.  And when Hunk lets them know Lotor’s arrived, Lance seems to have found some semblance of confidence again.  

 

“Hold your positions.  Let Lotor make the first move,” he tells them.  

 

Lotor’s talking to just Allura, it seems.  He must know the rest of the paladins honestly don’t care about his life’s purpose and whatever sadistic ideals he’s got left.  Lance wants to snap at Lotor, tell him he really has no right to talk to her but stays quiet. He grips the handles by instinct when he hears Allura demand how many lives Lotor took.  It’s difficult to figure out what the hell is happening before it hits him: Lotor is still throwing a line out for Allura, manipulating her and it could easily go two ways. Either she relents or she lashes out.

 

And he knows how it’s going to go before it happens.  

 

“We were meant to be together.  My feelings for you are true. I know you have feelings for me as well,” Lotor says it like it’s the most obvious thing.  

 

Lance has to shut his eyes when he says it.   _ Meant to be together. _  In another life, if Lotor hadn’t been a genocidal, crazy guy, yeah, maybe.  But he doesn’t doubt the rest of what he said and he can’t breathe again. Lungs feel caved in, choking on nothing.  She cared for him---still does, if he knows Allura at all. Allura loves like newly formed stars, powerful and bursting with life.  She always would. 

 

“You betrayed and  _ used _ me.  You’re more like  _ Zarkon _ than I could have ever imagined,” Allura snarls and everything in the whole universe stills.  

 

_ Dammit _ , Lance thinks because apparently that’s what does it.

 

Lotor questions her father, her own actions in saving the many worlds from the Galra.  And then, “Destroy the Lions.”

 

Allura goes straight for Lotor and he screams at her to stay with the group.  It’s useless, of course, because Allura does what she wants and he really has to give her credit.  The rest of them cover her, heading after the generals. 

 

They’re not going to last and Lance has a strange feeling he’s taking the lead on this battle.  Lotor’s dodging Allura’s blasts, keeping him busy but the generals have them on the defense. Hunk’s taking major hits, which is probably for the best since the Yellow Lion can handle it.  Pidge is doing her best, attempting to bate off one ship while Lance dances between the both of them. 

 

Coran manages to get the Castle running but it’s going bananas.  Lance is going to pretend and take that as a small win. Another semblance of victory comes when the generals back off and seem to retreat.  Lotor finally said the wrong thing. 

 

And then Lance remembers how nice it would be to take a nap when Lotor uses the three ships to form something else.  

 

“What  _ is _ that thing?” Pidge exclaims, sounding just a tad more terrified than Lance feels.  

 

“He’s formed his own Voltron…” 

 

“That’s why he was using me,” Allura says over the comms and she sounds smaller, tired, “I helped him built it…”

 

“Well, good news is,” Hunk grunts out and bless him, really, “it’s now four on one.”

  
  


\---

  
  


They’re no match for Lotor, it would become quite clear.  Coran gets a lucky shot that doesn’t turn out to be so lucky because Lotor flips the energy right back, rendering the Castle more useless than it had been before.  Then it’s just a game of dodging and evading. 

 

Lance pushes Red to go on the offense but he’s the only one.  Pidge and Allura get hit the hardest and their Lions power down first.  Hunk manages to get one hit in before he’s done too. Lance is soon to follow when Lotor grips Red and fires a shot of energy through.  His heart is in his throat at that moment. 

 

Lotor is talking about how this is the end and, honestly, Lance is kinda thinking the same thing.  

  
  


\---

  
  


Keith comes flying in with blinding light and newfound purpose.  

 

And it seems to work.  Until Lotor’s phasing in and out of dimensions and Lance is thinking about sleep again.  He misses that. Sleep. Must be nice to have a normal sleeping schedule. 

 

When Lotor vanishes back into another reality, the rest of them muse aloud if they can do the same with Voltron.  Allura’s oddly quiet until Pidge finally asks. Explains they could but there’s a huge risk. As if everything they’ve done since stepping into the Castle of Lions hasn’t been.  That sort of worries him but he files it away for later. 

 

“Do we have a choice?” he asks her.  

 

“We need your help, Allura,” Keith implores.  

 

_ The universe needs your help. _

 

They focus, attempting to reach that same plane they had once gone before.  He feels Keith and Allura there before Pidge and Hunk. Feels it when Allura reaches out, bleeding her force into Voltron once more.  It surrounds all of them and he thinks this might be the third time her energy has seeped into him like this. A warmth. 

 

It’s the astral plane, yet different.  Because, at first, he feels his friends’ presence and then it’s just  _ her _ .  That starlight, seeking out the dark corners of Voltron, of  _ them _ and forming it into something else.  

 

“ _ Form sword. _ ”

 

It takes a tick for him to realize it’s not him unsheathing the sword.  It’s Allura. It burns bright, hot and blazing and suddenly Voltron is moving fast towards the rift.  No one’s doing a thing. Allura.  _ She’s _ moving Voltron and they’re all here for the show.   _ The heart of Voltron _ .  

 

The sword opens the rift in white light and Lance shuts his eyes until he feels Allura let go.  

  
  


\---

  
  


The battle is leveled, finally.  Lance doesn’t think about sleeping, doesn’t even worry about losing or the despair they had all felt before.  All he sees is Lotor’s end and finishing this. The quintessence surges through Voltron, like fire in his veins and he knows the others feel it too.  

 

Allura’s stronger than any of them combined.  She rejects power offered to her. Too good for it.  Too good for the universe, really. Because she knows exactly what’s happening.  

 

“We have to get out of here,” Allura tells them, “This is exactly what happened to Zarkon.”

 

“Poor Allura,” they hear over the comms, like a terrible echo in their heads, “All the power of the universe at your fingertips and you  _ still  _ fear using it.”

 

It’s not like that.  It’s not like that at all, he realizes.  Allura just understands power more than they all do.  She opened the gate to the other reality, moved Voltron by herself, brought life back.  She knows. 

 

“Allura’s right,” he finds himself saying to the rest of his team.  “We’re out of control.”

 

Allura’s Voltron again, taking over and everything’s warm.  It had been cold, Lance notes. Before, he had felt cold and powerful, breathing in and focused only on winning.  And it’s warmer now, comfortable, oddly enough. He vaguely recalls opening his eyes once, cradled in that warmth and--- _ You saved me. _

 

All Voltron’s energy goes directly to Lotor and it’s his undoing.

  
  


\---

  
  


She  _ still  _ wants to save him.  After everything. 

 

He doesn’t say anything as Pidge and Hunk reason they won’t last much longer in the field.  When she says they have to try, that’s when he yells at her--- _ Allura, we have to go now! _

 

It’d be Keith to change her mind in the end.  And he’s never been so damn grateful for him in all his life.  

  
  


\---

  
  


“What did you do in there, Allura?”  Keith has to ask because, yeah, that was kinda something else.  

 

Lance is almost sure she’s the equivalent to whatever a space goddess is now.  And they’ve brought up how powerful she is in the past but Lance thinks this confirms what they all knew.  What he’s been trying to tell her. He had put her up on a pestadal before and now he simply feels validated for it.  

 

“I transferred all the excess power of Voltron to Lotor.  It’s a technique I learned on Oriande, thanks to Lotor,” her voice drops at the end and everyone goes quiet.  

 

He’s the one to break the silence with a small, “Thank you, Allura.  You saved us.”

 

“Not just us.  The universe,” Hunk adds.

 

( _ We need you.  The universe needs you. _ )

  
  


\---

  
  


It’s honestly one thing after the other.  

 

The tears in space and time are threatening their known reality.  Pidge and Hunk are already on the science side, running algorithms.  Lance is leaning towards magic since it’s literally been the thing keeping them all alive.  Specifically, Allura’s magic. 

 

“Allura, you have to have a way to close it.”

 

He knows it sounds like they’re depending on her far too much.  And they always have. And that burn of guilt comes back, just a bit.  Especially when she answers him she doesn’t know how. There’s something she  _ can’t _ do.  

 

Coran ends up having the solution: blow up the Castle of Lions.  

  
  


\---

  
  


The Lions find a planet with a suitable enough atmosphere.  Keith lays Shiro down and explains where Shiro’s truly been.  Inside the Black Lion, within that astral plane. That burn comes back with full force and he drops beside Shiro’s lifeless form.  

 

( _ Lance, listen to me--- _ )

 

He tried to tell him.  Tried to let Lance know he was stuck.  Gone. But he didn’t understand, didn’t hear him.  And he’s gone. Back on Olkarion, when he could barely feel Shiro on the other plane, hardly hear him, Shiro had tried reaching out.  

 

He knows he’s crying.  Grief swallows him whole, coupled with that guilt.  He’s lost his friend. And there could have been a chance to save him if he had---

 

A hand falls upon his shoulder.  Warm. Comforting. He knows it’s her before he peers over.  She’s--- _ smiling _ .  And then he’s just confused because that smile doesn’t look like her sad ones.  It’s a lot like the one she gave him when he opened his eyes, came back from a void.  Like she’s found something’s she’s lost. 

 

He watches with the rest of them as she moves towards the Black Lion, places her hands upon its surface and breathes in.  Lines of light move from the Lion, seeking her out until it moves towards Allura. Then she’s like the stars, aglow and all light.  When she turns, her eyes dance like the nebulas they’ve passed. And she looks directly at him for a moment. Smiles. 

 

He can’t breathe but it’s different this time.  

 

She moves to Shiro, leans down and breathes out.  New life. And when Shiro opens his eyes, it mirrors her own.  The rest of them are mere spectors to the show. Shiro jolts up, coughing and falls back into Keith.  

 

Now they’re all crying, with probably the exception of a few.  Very few. Allura’s kneeling down in front of Shiro and Lance is still sitting right where Allura had left him before.  His eyes open again and he’s staring, looking dazed, at Allura and Keith. He’s tired, Lance realizes. 

 

“You found me,” Shiro murmurs.  

 

“We’re glad you’re back, Shiro,” Keith tells him.  

 

Allura’s smile hasn’t changed.  “Rest.”

 

So he does and Lance stands with the rest of his team.  Hunk asks what they’re going to do and Pidge answers there’s only one place they need to go to build another Castle of Lions.  

 

Keith sounds like they’ve won the war when he says, “We’re going home.”

  
  


\---

  
  


Home means something else to Allura.  He’s been homesick for awhile now but for Allura, she’ll always miss  _ home _ .  

 

When they’re getting their bearings, Hunk and Pidge are discussing how to power the Lions, Keith is with his mom and looking after Shiro, Lance finds himself gravitating to Allura.  He doesn’t want to say anything unless she does. Her hands are on her hips as she’s watching everyone else, as if she knows the answers to their situation already. He wouldn’t doubt she does.  

 

“You should rest too, Lance,” she says, glancing his way.  

 

He shifts closer, until he’s by her side.  Now that he’s looking, he can’t stop looking at her.  “Eventually. You too. Controlling Voltron, opening space and time and bringing people back from the dead seem to be a good reason to take a nap.”

 

Starlight eyes blink and fall upon him.  The corners of her mouth tug upwards just a bit.  It’s a tired kind of smile. “Yes, I believe I shall rest soon enough.”

 

He’s not sure what possesses him to do it.  Maybe since being the Red Lion, his confidence has peaked.  Or when Allura mentioned he had greatness. But his hand falls upon her shoulder and he offers a small squeeze, enough so she’ll feel it through the armor.  

 

“We’re gonna be okay.”

 

She’s staring at him then.  Like she’s found that something she had lost that first day they opened her cryopod.  She’s not even smiling, just gazing at him. He drops his hand but she’s catching it in hers.  His heart might have stopped for a moment. 

 

“Yes.  We will.”

 

When Allura lets go, moves towards the rest of their friends, he’s following her.  He thinks about home, about what it means to her. He catches her staring wistfully at the group, moving beside Coran and hugging him.  Lance thinks maybe this means home to her. That something she had lost. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the most part, this is concluded. Hope you enjoyed this little character study.


End file.
